


Dashing | SangKyu

by Driwed



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Dashing, M/M, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, kpop, sangkyu, theboyz, theboyzfanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 07:48:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16530410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Driwed/pseuds/Driwed
Summary: movie to au oneshot (it was never a real movie)





	1. Brief Words

**if this isn't your cup of tea, i have other stories that might be!**   
** My Bully ** **(completed)**   
** Sin ** **(completed)**   
** To J.B ** **(completed)**   
** To Each His Own ** **(completed)**   
** Forget Me Not ** **(completed)**   
** Dawn of Love ** **(completed)**   
** Seaside ** **(completed)**   
** disillusion ** **(completed)**   
** Breathless ** **(completed)**   
** Heated Desire ** **(completed)**   
** MedicalHockeyAu ** **(completed)**   
** detraction ** **(completed)**   
** Drizzle ** **(completed)**   
** guidance ** **(completed)**   
** Fancafe ** **(temporarily completed)**   
** Artist ** **(completed)**   
** Florescent Nostalgia ** **(completed)**   
** Skirt & Sister Chan ** **(oneshots)**   
**Different (completed)**   
**little (completed)**   
** He's Bad He's Worse **   
** Extricate **


	2. Act 1

Sangyeon took a drag from his cigarette then slowly exhaled. This was his life now. He was a failed artist, fired from his 5th job and currently living with his sister. She wasn't doing well financially either, but he helped around the house in exchange. "Raining again huh..." He scoffed then put out his cigarette. Just looking at the rain had made him lose interest in it. "Sang, I'm going out." "Don't get killed." That was how their conversations usually went, wishing the other to stay alive. He slowly got up from his seat by the window then wandered into the kitchen. He peered into the sink and saw that quite a few dishes needed to be cleaned.

As he finished washing the plate, he picked up the knife that had been glaring at him ever since he peered into the sink. He turned it around in his hands, thinking of all the uses a knife had. "No one else is around..." He held back his emotions as he ever so nicely dug the tip of the knife into his fingertip. It felt good to him, so much that he didn't want to stop there. "I could just cut here, and we'll both be happy. She won't have to care for her dead beat brother anymore. She can finally find someone to settle down with and have a family..." He now dug the knife into the palm of his hand and watched as blood flowed into the sink.

Sangyeon had sunk to the floor in tears as the pain was kicking in and hopelessness filled his mind. He couldn't stop even if he wanted to. It wasn't like a light switch that you could turn on and off. Sangyeon watched as blood gathered into a pool on the floor. "I can't do this anymore." The sound of quick footsteps were heard and the lower region of a person was seen. They kneeled by Sangyeon and assessed the situation. "Sangyeon, you need to get help. I'm taking you after a little outing today. You can't continue on like this..." Sangyeon was unresponsive as his mind was filled with nothing but negative talk.

_"You should've listened to your mother when she said being an artist was a waste of time." "You can't do anything right. That's why you're like this." "Why would they keep an idiot employed? An animal can do better than you." "You'll never amount to anything." "Just die you-"_

"Sangyeon!" He had come back to his senses and saw that there were more scratches on his arm, some bleeding. "Chanhee...When did you get here..." "That doesn't matter. Hold still and stay awake." Sangyeon winced as Chanhee disinfected Sangyeon's cuts. "We're going out today. No ifs, ands, or buts." Sangyeon remained unresponsive as he had to focus all his energy on staying awake. After the disinfection, Chanhee ushered him into the bathroom and proceeded to treat Sangyeon like a child. "My, it was supposed to rain all day today. Guess we lucked out huh?" "Yeah..." Chanhee rinsed Sangyeon off then ruffled his hair. "We'll have fun today."

Chanhee locked the door then held Sangyeon's hand tightly. They headed downtown where all the hustle and bustle was. "I was sure it was around here..." Sangyeon looked around at the all too familiar scenery. It looked no different, yet it appeared that way. He heard the faint sound of music playing and wondered where it was coming from. Sangyeon detached himself from an oblivious Chanhee and followed the sound. He heard the music progressively getting louder and knew he was heading in the right direction. He stopped at a wide open area and saw that the music was coming from a speaker that sat atop a black backpack. No one was around and could easily steal it.

He noticed someone had walked over then kneeled down beside the objects. A few more people had stopped to see what was going on as the music changed from soft to something that had a club vibe. "Hello! My name is Ji Changmin and I'll be performing well known dances of songs by your favorite artists. So, go on and shout a few suggestions!" Sangyeon couldn't believe what he was seeing. The man before him seemed bold, daring even as he clearly knew he had only so many watchers. "BTS Boy In Luv!" "No, The Boyz Boy!" "Do Twice Cheer Up!" "I'll do all of them. Any others?" Sangyeon quietly debated on whether or not to join in. "Don't Let Me Down The Chainsmokers." Everyone glanced at Sangyeon, even Changmin.

"You're the first." Changmin approached Sangyeon with a twisted smile. It didn't contain any evil intentions, but the sight of it alone was unnerving. "If it's hardcore you want, I'll deliver." Changmin looked him up and down, wondering why he's never seen this man before. He poked Sangyeon's chest the bounced over back to his speaker. The music changed to Sangyeon's suggestion and Changmin briefly glanced at the somewhat shaky man. "Enjoy." Sangyeon felt he had specifically said that to him and wondered if it was a challenge accepted kind of thing.

Sangyeon was spellbound. He had never seen someone dance with such passion and life. It slightly elevated his mood. He wanted to see more, but Changmin looked worked to the fiber of his bone. What also surprised him is that Changmin never asked for money, but ended up with bills and change anyway. Sangyeon walked over to him as he was kneeling on one knee while zipping his backpack closed. "How much did they give you?" "Oh, ₩17614.00. I got tired of telling them to take their money back and then refusing to do so. So I just accept it and move on." Changmin was surprised that the man had actually come over to talk to him. From the way he looked, he didn't seem at all pleased with anything.

"What's your name?" "Sangyeon." "Nice to meet you. You already know me, so we can skip that. Hope to see you around more." Changmin in actuality didn't want to see him again. After hearing Sangyeon's suggestion worried him about future performances. He could only do so much and Sangyeon's suggestion had taken half of what he had. He quickly slung his backpack over his shoulder and waved to the regulars. He felt his mood slowly go down with every step he took.  _"I guess I need more."_  He hurried home before anything else could transpire. He tossed his bag onto the couch as he hurried through the front door, not bothering to lock it.


	3. Act 2

Changmin opened drawers then found what he was looking for. He held the bottle in his hand and momentarily stared at it.

_"You're lucky you have dancing as a talent. Otherwise you'd never be looked at." "Dancing is all you have going for you. Without it you're just garbage." "I'm surprised you even have a job. Who would want to hire a-"_

Changmin wasted no time in shaking some pills into the palm of his hand and tossing them into his mouth. He drank water to help them go down then let out an exasperated sigh. "Shit, there's isn't much left..." He put his head in his hands as he couldn't get another bottle until next month. He started become lethargic and found himself collapsing onto the couch as his body felt too heavy to move to the bedroom. He fought sleep the best he could but ultimately failed in the end.

Chanhee waited in the lobby and wondered how Sangyeon was fairing with the therapist. He couldn't stand sitting, so he got up from his seat and paced around. He didn't care about the stares he was receiving as his friend's condition was more important. He paused as he saw Sangyeon walking towards the lobby from the offices down on the other end. He ran over to him and gently held his hands. "How was it? Do you think it could help?" "They don't get it." "Huh?" Sangyeon slipped his hands from Chanhee's and walked towards the exit.

"Sangyeon, tell me what happened in there...Maybe-" "There is no maybe, okay? No one understands how I feel. Telling me that harming myself is bad for me and I should stop? Gee, I never thought of it that way!" Sangyeon turned on his heel and left without Chanhee. He was appreciative of his friend trying to help, but this just wasn't the place for him. He needed something more, something or someone to show him other coping mechanisms that wouldn't be detrimental. He thought back to watching Changmin dance earlier that day and wondered if trying to learn dance would be beneficial.

Changmin awoke to a completely dark room. He groaned in pain as he head pounded and his mouth was dry. His hunger had spiked as well. He slowly walked to the kitchen then opened the refrigerator. "He didn't go shopping...wonderful." He decided on a cup of juice and waited for his roommate to come back.

As he was organizing his drawer, he heard someone complaining about the front door being open and being naturally loud. Changmin closed his drawer then walked to see what he was complaining about. "You! Why did you leave the front door open? We could've been robbed!" "Sorry. I thought you were going grocery shopping this morning while I was out?" "Oh, that." Changmin hit his arm then groaned in frustration. "Youngjae, I need food. And if I don't get any, I'll eat you instead." "You wouldn't." "Try me asshole." Youngjae could feel Changmin's overwhelming emotion and scurried out the front door.

Sangyeon looked out the window wondering what was taking his sister so long. He knew she was a party person, but she had never been out this late. He exhaled and watched as the smoke rose to the ceiling. He couldn't remember when he had started smoking, but just like his need to self harm, smoking was a need too. Both were things he couldn't just easily quit. Not that he wanted to either. They made him feel good, even if it was painful in the long run. He heard the front door open and close then heard footsteps. "You're home." "Goodnight." He didn't bother to look at her as he already knew the state she was in. A part of him wished she could get a different job, but he knew it was ultimately up to her what she wants to do.

Morning had come and Sangyeon noticed he had fallen asleep by the window. The sun's rays beamed down on him, causing him to grunt in displeasure. He got up from his seat then regretted it as he had started to feel lightheaded. He sat back down and waited for it to pass. He glanced out the window and saw the usual older woman jogging with her dog, the old man waiting st the bus stop and a young man running to catch the bus. He noticed something different as there was another young man walking carrying multiple bags and looked close to collapsing.  _"It's none of my business."_  He sighed then decided to head to the kitchen to fix hangover soup for his sister and a simple egg sandwich for himself.

Changmin opened the front door then took a few bags from Youngjae. "Took you long enough." "Would've went faster if you came." "Piss off. Had you did it when I told you, you wouldn't be in this situation." "How can you be so nasty with such a sweet face?" Changmin shrugged then started putting things away. He left a few things out to cook then checked the time. "Ah, it's almost 11..." "I'll be in the room, recuperating." "Whatever." Changmin sighed as he knew he was harsh on Youngjae. He had to be or else the kid wouldn't have any kind of discipline. His uncle decided that Youngjae needed to learn about living on his own, but decided it would be best if he stayed with him and learned adult things.

He greeted his coworkers then took his spot next to a familiar face. "You just made it." "I know..." The boss had come in and did he usual ranting before sending everyone off.

Sangyeon wandered around, wondering what to do with all of his free time. He had taken a sketchbook with him, hoping he'd get the notion to draw again. He couldn't remember the last time he had picked up a pencil or a paintbrush since that day. "Hey, do you want to eat here for today?" "I guess." Sangyeon wasn't one to care for fancy restaurants and wondered why Chanhee even bothered. He cared more about meeting Changmin again anyway. Surprisingly the wait wasn't long and they were both seated. Sangyeon looked around and wondered if they could afford anything in a place like this. "I'll pay for both of us, so don't worry." He sighed then looked around at the waiters and waitresses moving about. One particular waiter caught his eye and he suddenly felt like drawing. "You haven't touched that in years...What's captured your interest?" Sangyeon busied himself as he felt his hand gliding across the page as he perfectly captured the image of the waiter.

"We'll have the same thing. I'll have a barley tea and him water." The waitress nodded and bowed then went on her way. "May I see what you drew?" Sangyeon turned it around and held it for Chanhee to see. "Wow, if I was him, I'd feel really flattered..." He rolled his eyes as Chanhee always praised his art, even if it looked like someone had shit on it. "Chanhee, thank you. For putting up with me then and even now. Even when I feel like killing myself..." Chanhee places his hand on top of Sangyeon's then grinned. "You've done so much for me without realizing. Even then I'm doing what any sensible person would." He knew he was in good hands as long as Chanhee was around.


	4. Act 3

Sangyeon had kept a watchful eye on his waiter muse and wondered if he would ever show his face to him. "Hey, stop staring and eat." He took Sangyeon sketchbook and pencil then pushed the plate forward. "Fine." He quietly ate and was surprised by the rich taste. "I wouldn't mind coming here again..."

Changmin had taken off straight after work to his usual spot in the plaza. He saw his regulars already there and waiting. He also saw Sangyeon sitting among them as well.  _"The one person I didn't want to see..."_  He put on a fake smile as he went to go greet Sangyeon. "You're back." "Yeah." "Nice to have you here." He ended it with that, but felt something grab his wrist.  _"Who the fuck does he think he is, grabbing me!?"_  Changmin shook his wrist free then faced Sangyeon. "Don't ever do that again, you hear me? I really, and I mean really, don't like to be touched." "I...I just wanted to ask something." "What?" "Teach me how to dance." "No." It's not that he wasn't comfortable with teaching, he just didn't want to teach him. The last thing he needed was another leech in his life.

"Are you too busy?" "Yeah." "I see." Changmin watched as Sangyeon got up and left. He felt happy, but guilty at the same time. "Why are you leaving? Didn't you come to watch?" He expected him to turn around and come back, but he kept walking and was soon out of sight.

Sangyeon sighed heavily once more as he figured he'd sit by the river back near home. He wondered what it would be like to slowly decay under water where no one would look at first.  _"Nothing will ever go right for me, so why am I still living?"_  He made a fist with his hand and squeezed. He wanted all of it to end. To release his sister of his shackles, his consistent job losses, his failed artist dream, and freeing Chanhee of feeling responsible for him. He quietly stood near the edge and truly believed things would be better this way. He no longer felt he had importance. He felt like a complete waste of space, of intelligence. He could easily erase himself from the world with just one step. Sangyeon looked up at the sky and stepped forward, soon finding himself enveloped in the cool waters.

Changmin watched in horror as Sangyeon fell in. He didn't know what was going on in his life, but he couldn't just leave him there to drown. He rushed over and jumped in after him.  _"Why am I going through such lengths for him anyway?"_  He mentally cursed himself the spotted the one he was looking for. He quickly swam over then went back up for air. He went back under and saw Sangyeon had floated down deeper. After a few attempts, he managed to get Sangyeon back to shore then lied down. Sangyeon wasn't as light as he looked and carrying him had taken a massive toll on him. He weakly crawled over to him and did the best CPR he could muster. He momentarily paused as he neared his mouth.  _"He won't remember this right...?"_  He covered Sangyeon's mouth with his own and continued with the procedure.

Sangyeon felt that his lungs were on fire and repeatedly found himself coughing. He slowly opened his eyes and saw a familiar sitting cross legged not too far from him looking out towards the water. "Changmin...?" "Oh, you're alive. Thought I lost you." He couldn't tell if Changmin was joking or was completely serious. "How did you even know I was here?" "Followed you. Was going to ask you to come back and then this happened." "You didn't have to save me." "Any person in their right mind would." Sangyeon sat up then banged on his chest to get the rest of the water out. "Hey, I don't know what's going on, but, killing yourself is never the answer. Even if you don't think it'll affect those around you, it will. Yeah, everyone says this, but it's the truth. I say find a reason to live, to keep going, like I did."

"You're going to be my reason." Sangyeon didn't know what he meant then by that sentence. To Changmin, it sounded desperate. To Sangyeon, it was a statement telling Changmin he intended to learn from him and make dancing his reason to live. "I think you should find something like a hobby...not a person." "I want to learn dance from you, Changmin." Changmin couldn't understand why he was so insist on learning from him. Couldn't he just go take classes from professionals? "Fine, whatever. You know what time I'll be at the plaza, so, meet me there I guess. For today, we can practice here. Away from the edge." Changmin knew this was a bad idea, but hearing that someone would prefer to learn from him rather than a professional kind of touched him.

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A few months had passed since Sangyeon started learning from Changmin. As disinterested in the world as he was, he found himself greatly interested in what he was now doing. He got the urge to go out more and socialized with a few people. He was cutting less as he was too busy focusing on his movements to give it much thought. He could tell Changmin was warming up to him as their conversations had grown from throwing insults at each other constantly to normal acquaintance-like ones. Sangyeon twirled his lit cigarette in his hand as he flipped through his sketchbook. He frequented the restaurant from back then to sketch the waiter that had captured his eye. He had yet to see his face, but knew that one day that day will come. "What's this? You've started drawing again?" "You're the last to find out sis." "Whatever. It makes me happy to see that you haven't completely given up." She patted my back then stole an apple slice before leaving my room.

"Youngjae, if you don't clean up this kitchen in 5 minutes, I will snap your spine in half." "That's rather gruesome..." "Then get to work. I'm already cleaning the living room and the bathroom." "Aren't you going to work today?" "No, they gave us the day off for outstanding work last week." Changmin watched as he got to work on the dishes in the sink. He wondered how Sangyeon was doing with everything that he had taught him so far. He felt himself falling over and landing on the couch with the broom following suit. "And you complain about me." "Fuck off." Changmin sat up then suddenly became lethargic. He felt all his energy disappear and even lifting up the broom proved to be a workout in its self. "Hey, are you alright...?" Changmin weakly slapped Youngjae's hand away while glaring at him. "Go back to cleaning." "Sorry for caring..." He felt his body shaking as he watched Youngjae head back into the kitchen.  _"I just need rest. Rest..."_

Changmin woke up and saw that it was now dark out. The lights were on and the living room looked squeaky clean compared to earlier. He slowly got up and made his way to Youngjae's room. "You're awake." "I'm sorry for sleeping so long and making you do all the work." "It's fine. It's the least I can do since you're constantly watching over me." Changmin walked over and gave him a hug. "Don't tell anyone I hugged you or else I'll have you six feet under." "Got it." He wasn't a terrible cousin in Changmin's eyes, just rough around the edges. "Are you really teaching dance to a weirdo?" "One, he's not a weirdo. Two, I am teaching him." "Why?" He bit his bottom lip as he wondered if it would be okay to tell someone he didn't about his personal problems. He shook his head then left the room, knowing he wouldn't like it if it was reversed.


	5. Act 5

Sangyeon found himself making breakfast once more. He wondered if it would become habitual as he's never really bothered to before. "You've been really strange these past months. Before, it took hours to convince you to do something. Now? You're ready to do it in a heartbeat. What's changed? Did someone propose to you? Did you win the lottery?" "Nah. I just found a reason to keep living, well, reasons." She crossed her arms and felt plenty thankful for whatever had started to occupy her brother's mind with positivity. "I'm going to be out all day, but I'll be home in time to cook. Are you coming home early today?" "I'll try since you said you'd cook." "Duly noted." Yonghi couldn't help but smile at her now radiant brother.  _"You're more attractive when smiling..."_

Changmin slowed to a stop at his usual spot in the plaza. He spotted the regulars, new regulars, some new faces and his pupil.  _"Today..."_  Changmin chuckled to himself then briefly looked at Sangyeon. "Today, I'll be changing things up!" Everyone had started murmuring and that only fueled him further. "Today, Sangyeon will be joining me!" Changmin jogged over to him and pulled Sangyeon up and out of his seat. There was clapping filled with encouragement and he could see the nervousness in his eyes. They screamed "I'm not ready", but Changmin knew he was. "I can't do-" "Yes you can. We've practiced everyday since we started, excluding a few." Sangyeon suddenly felt the nervousness leave his body as Changmin flashed him a smile.  _"Your smile...just became my number one reason..."_

The audience clapped as they finished their last dance routine. Sangyeon felt that his lungs could collapse at any moment due to how often he smoked. He looked at Changmin and wondered why he looked just as tired as him. As usual, people left money then went on their way. He watched Changmin count it all then hand him some of it. "I can't take this." "It wasn't just me, it was both of us. You deserve half." He felt Changmin shove it into his pocket then pat it. "Treat yourself to something nice." Sangyeon saw that Changmin had started to leave, and reached out to him.  _"I really, and I mean really, don't like to be touched."_  He immediately drew back as he remembered Changmin's words from back then. "Wait."

Changmin found himself stopping at the sound of Sangyeon's voice. He didn't understand why. He was always able to keep moving despite Sangyeon calling after him about random things like "Should I wear a specific shirt or sweats?" or "Would wearing a headband make me look cooler?" For a guy that was clearly older than him, he sure acted like a child. "What is it?" "Want to go out? To have dinner. Dinner. Just dinner." He wanted to refuse, to go back home and binge watch a new show he recently got into. He was also afraid of suddenly falling asleep in public. Changmin had noticed a pattern with it and that it usually happened a half hour after Youngjae gets home. "I...I can't...Sorry." "Ah, worth a shot..." Changmin felt that he was being selfish and decided to change his mind. "Actually, I'll go. Wouldn't hurt to...spend time with you." Sangyeon had flashed him a smile and caused a disturbance in his hollow body.

Changmin felt surprised that Sangyeon had taken them to where he worked. He wasn't keen on interacting with his coworkers twice in a day. "I sometimes come here to draw a waiter." "Oh. Can you show me one?" Changmin hadn't expected Sangyeon to start sharing personal things and wondered if he expected him to do the same. "Here. There's 10 pages." He carefully took the book in his hands as Sangyeon went to confirm whatever was needed.  _"They feel familiar..."_  He gently ran his fingertips over one page then realized why they looked familiar.  _"This is me...but..."_  He noticed that they were all drawings of his backside.  _"He's never seen my face all the times he's come here?"_  He looked up and saw Sangyeon walking back over to him. The disturbance grew and it was slightly painful, yet it was also warm and fuzzy.

"May I hold onto your sketchbook? I haven't looked at all of them yet." "Sure, just give it back before we split ways." Sangyeon watched as Changmin gently flipped through his drawings. He figured they'd look better if he had at least seen the guy's face just once. "Hey, Sangyeon." "Hm?" "What if...just hypothetically, this waiter you're drawing is me, how would you react? Would you keep drawing?" Sangyeon wondered where such an idea came from, but nevertheless gave him his honest opinion. "If hypothetically it was you, I wouldn't stop, it would actually make me want to draw more. Draw you in different scenarios in different poses that capture your image perfectly." He hoped that would get a smile out of Changmin, but was surprised to see tears instead. "D-Did I say something wrong...?" "No, it's just...whoever it is should feel lucky..." Sangyeon looked away and hoped his embarrassment couldn't been seen.

"What are you looking around for?" Changmin couldn't help but feel like Sangyeon wasn't here mentally with him. "I hoped to see the waiter, but I guess he only works around that time..." Changmin internally sighed as there was no way Sangyeon would see his mysterious waiter. In fact, he was literally sitting right in front of him. Changmin debated on whether or not to tell Sangyeon. It's not like he had anything to lose, especially after what he said earlier. "Sangyeon." "Need salt?" "N-Actually, yes, but that's not what I wanted to say." He took the salt shaker from him then cleared his throat. "I'm the waiter you come to see every morning." "Ah, so y-Wait, what."

Sangyeon had dropped his fork and stared at Changmin in disbelief. "You...and I...perfect..." "Take you're time." Changmin jumped at Sangyeon's sudden touch, but couldn't find the strength to pull away. Was it finally kicking in or was he finally okay with being touched? He shuddered at the memories that resurfaced then snapped back to reality when he felt Sangyeon touching his face. Changmin swatted his hand away and tried to cause as little of a scene as possible. Unfortunately, his body had given out on him and he ended up knocking almost everything over.  _"I can barely move...I should've gone straight home."_  "Changmin, are you okay?" He couldn't think straight. All he could hear was jeering as people stared.

_"They're judging you for being different." "They're wondering what the fuck is wrong with you." "I bet they're laughing at how you ruined your clothes." "Sangyeon doesn't actually care about you. He just doesn't want to look bad because he's with you."_

Changmin wondered how he had managed to keep his thoughts at bay and his body in check this entire time. What had changed that caused it so suddenly? He could barely keep his eyes open and eventually shut them.


	6. Act 5

Sangyeon panicked even more now that Changmin had shut his eyes. He didn't know what to do or what was going on with him. He called Chanhee and hoped he could do something, anything to lighten the situation. "Forgive me for this..." He searched Changmin's bag for his wallet and hoped to find any information like his address or emergency contact. He dialed in a number he saw written down and was greeted by a young voice. "Hello? Is this Young...uh...Youngidiot?" "I don't even know you and you feel like you have the right to insult me?" "Listen, you're the emergency contact for Changmin. He suddenly shut down and-" "Address?" Sangyeon told him the address and the young man on the other end was quick to hang up.  _"Maybe I should call an ambulance just in case..."_

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Changmin awoke in a brightly lit room and had to squint for a bit to see. "You're up. That's a good sign." He looked and saw a woman in a white coat. "Did I...?" "No, you're very much alive, if that's what you're asking." "No, that wasn't it, but thanks for the clarification." "We're going to run tests, see if everything is operating like it should be." Changmin knew things weren't. He voluntarily increased his medication intake as it made him feel better compared to the normal amount. However, he believed the lack of taking that same amount has caused his body to react negatively to the change. He was well aware of what was going on, he didn't need a reminder. "Ms. or Mrs., I'm well aware of my health. My friend just overreacted." "Even still-" "Please, let me go. I can't stand being cooped up in here..." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth. "We could move you to a more spacious room, but we can't just let you go."

Sangyeon found himself nodding off, wondering if everything was okay. "Sang, go to sleep. His cousin is there, so stop worrying." He couldn't stop. He was beyond convinced he was the cause of it all. He continuously blamed himself for what happened.

_"You can't do anything right." "You hurt everyone around you." "I can't believe you thought you could have a happy life now." "You're worthless, disgusting, and a complete waste of matter."_

Sangyeon cried and cried hard. He put his head in his hands as he quietly wept. The one person, his number one reason for living, would end up hating him. He truly believed that.

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Changmin was finally let go after a week of tests and routine check ups. As he predicted, they told him things he already knew and he had his responses well prepared in advanced. However, there was one statement that had caught him off guard.

_"Your brain," she pointed to the one on the right, "is quite unstable compared to a healthy brain." She pointed to the one on the left. Changmin saw that there was a noticeable size difference in certain areas. "I've read that you take prescribed medication for your depression, but changes like this are usually due to taking more than necessary." He knew he couldn't talk his way out of this one. "I'm...aware..."_

Changmin sighed as Youngjae had also been informed about everything. Now he couldn't freely do what he wanted. He opened up the drawer and as expected, his pills weren't there. "Looking for these?" "Give them to me." "So you can possibly have an overdose? No. And I'm not saying that just because you pay the bills around here. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you die, knowing I could've prevented it..." Changmin had never seen Youngjae look so sad. "Alright..." "Don't forget to do what the doctors suggested to get your brain functioning properly again." He sighed then gently pull on his face as he looked in the mirror. His skin had started to regain its color.

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Changmin looked behind him to see if Sangyeon had taken his usual spot in the restaurant to draw him. He wasn't there. He sighed heavily as it had been a week since he last saw him. He found himself being concerned about his wellbeing.  _"Did I ever find out where he lived...?"_  He wished he had found out when he had the chance. "Hey, you were called." "Oh." Changmin hurried over to the table he was waiting.

Changmin had rushed to the plaza in hopes of seeing Sangyeon there, hoping he wouldn't miss another performance day. He looked about the audience, hoping to catch a hint of Sangyeon. Changmin had sat down as he felt empty inside. What was this feeling? It was something new to him that he didn't like and wanted it gone. "I-I'm sorry, everyone. I can't perform today...I don't feel well." The audience was supportive and wished him well before leaving. "Hey...Do you need someone to take you home?" "I can manage...Thank you though." She nodded then walked away, not without looking back once more. He needed to find Sangyeon and confirm he was okay.

"Hello?" "Chanhee, right?" "Um, yes. Who's calling?" "Changmin. Sangyeon's teacher. I've been trying to contact him, but he never picks up. Have you talked to him at all this week?" "No...He doesn't answer the door. His sister told me all he does is sit by the window and smoke. It's gotten worse." Changmin asked for Sangyeon's address then hurried over after ending the call.

Sangyeon coughed hard as he looked out the window. He had no motivation to do anything at all. He no longer cooked and barely managed to keep up with his hygiene. He fingered a knife in his hands and wondered if he should just end it all. He had just found his muse, something to live for and now it's gone. Sangyeon shakily lifted the knife and...

Changmin was beyond annoyed at this point. He knew Sangyeon could hear the doorbell. He was about to consider busting down the door until he started looking around for a spare key.  _"I'm sure they have one somewhere around...They'd have to be crazy not to."_  He finally found keys and proceeded to unlock the door. He had never been to his house before, so everything was worth taking a glance at. He turned the corner and saw a chair by the window with cigarette butts littered around and one still lighted. He was quick to put it out to prevent a fire from occurring later. "Sangyeon? You home?" He knew he shouldn't, but he started opening doors one by one in an effort to find him.


	7. Actt 6

Sangyeon slowly opened his eyes but couldn't quite open them fully. His vision was blurry and his hearing was borderline deaf. "Sang...with me!" He wanted to speak, but words had failed him. He couldn't tell who it was that was what he assumed was yelling, but wished they'd let him die in peace. "Sangyeon!" He managed to lift his other arm and touched the person's face to confirm that this was real. He blacked out again.

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Changmin's body shook with nervousness as he remembered the scene. Red water and haggard breathing. He wondered what could've happened had he not decided to go and find him. Would he had died? Changmin didn't want to imagine his poor sister finding her brother's dead body. He proceeded to stand up but sat back down as he felt too wobbly to move. "Sir, do you need something?" Changmin looked over and saw a young woman about his age looking at him with worry. "Ah, just water." "Stay there, I'll get it for you." He watched as she walked over to the water dispenser then came back with a cup of water. "You look really rattled..." "I guess..."

"Are you nervous about your check up?" He found himself chuckling then noticed the woman's confused face. "I wish that was the case..." "Don't feel the need to tell me. I just hope things get better for you and whoever you're with. If there's someone." "Thank you..." He noticed his arms had become heavy and started panicking.  _"No, no, no! It's too early!"_  He hoped no one, especially the young woman could see what was going on. He saw the doctor approaching and tried to sit up the best he could. "Well, you just saved a life. Hm, the cut on his wrist was deep enough that a few minutes later he'd bleed out. You can come in and see him." He managed to stand without causing too much suspicion.

Changmin took a seat then slowly took Sangyeon's hand in his. "Didn't you say you had reasons to live? Were you lying then?" He felt sleepiness starting to settle in, but fought it back. "Don't give up, Sangyeon because...because people will miss you and you have much to offer. And..." He needed to get it out. "And if you die...I'll lose my #1 reason to live." He had said it. Seeing Sangyeon bleeding out in that bathroom had opened his eyes. He cared more about him than he realized. Sangyeon was becoming his everything.

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Sangyeon's fluttered opened and was forced shut by the light above him.  _"Am I dead? Heh, wouldn't be surprised."_  He opened his eyes again and let his eyes adjust. He looked around and saw that he was in a hospital, meaning he was very much alive. He sat himself up and saw he was the only one in the room. The door opened and in walked a nurse. "Good to see you awake." "How did I get here?" "A friend of yours called 911 and had you brought here." He looked down at his wrist that was now bandaged. "How long have I been sleep?" "A few days. Your body was recovering from the shock."

Changmin rushed through the hospital doors and headed towards the desk. "How may I-" "I'm here to see Lee Sangyeon." "Please sign in." He quickly wrote his information down then headed for the elevator. He decided to take the stairs and quickly went up. He hurried down the hall then stopped when he reached Sangyeon's room. He reached out then stopped. What could he say to him? What should he say? He slowly opened the door and saw Sangyeon sitting in a chair and writing. At least that's what he could see. "Sangyeon?" He felt himself smile as Sangyeon turned to face him. "Changmin..." Changmin slowly walked over to Sangyeon then felt him pull him down into a hug.

"I thought I had died...and the thought of never seeing you again..." Changmin could hear his sobs then proceeded to slowly stroke his hair. "I was scared too. Knowing that I could've lost you if I hadn't looked for you..." "You found me? So you were the one I saw..." "Yeah..." He felt Sangyeon's grip tighten and tightened his in return. "I'm so sorry Chang...I thought you hated me after what happened at the restaurant...I couldn't handle it." "Why...?" "You're my reason to live. To hear your laugh, see your smile and learn from you." Changmin now had tears in his eyes as he let Sangyeon's words sink in. They were important to each other, and that one fact now gave them what they've been missing all along: love.

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Yonghi noticed her brother had regained the life in his eyes and wondered what happened from the day he ended up in the hospital to when he was discharged. "Hey." Sangyeon looked at Yonghi and waited for her to speak. "Did you hit it off with a nurse or somethin?" "Maybe." She looked at him with surprise. "Don't be ridiculous. They have more important things to do than flirt with patients." "Fine." He watched as Yonghi walked away in her usual tight clothing and made her way upstairs.  _"I'm worried about her..."_  He was about to take another drag of his cigarette then put it out. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but he was determined to quit. He threw out all the packets he had then quickly walked away before he got the urge to reach in for them.

Sangyeon loved the way Changmin would sometimes secretly pose for him as he worked. He hadn't felt this happy in god knows how long. He felt addicted to this feeling and hoped it never went away. "Hey." Sangyeon looked up and saw someone hovering over him. "You've been coming here for months, and haven't sat down to eat." "Your point being?" "They might kick you out cause of it." "Then let them." The guy seemed confused by his reply, but he meant what he had said. He was only here to draw Changmin, but it wasn't like he couldn't do it at the plaza. He wondered what Changmin was currently thinking about then went back to drawing.

Changmin quickly gathered his things then was stopped by a coworker. "Do you wanna hang out?" "I'd love to but-" "Great, let's go." Changmin shook off her grip then sighed. "I can't. I already have plans." He pushed past her and hurried over to Sangyeon who was waiting outside for him. "So, got any good angles today?" Sangyeon had opened up to a page he hadn't seen before and was amazed by the sketch. "I can't wait to see the full thing..." "Are you performing today?" "No. I wanted to spend time with you." "But your fans will be sad." "It's not like I haven't canceled before." Changmin was happy. Sangyeon was the sunshine that chased away his cloudy days.


	8. Final Act

They ended up by the riverbank where Changmin had witnessed his first suicide attempt. They happily talked about things that they've been wanting to for days but was unsure of how to approach it. "So, why did you start dancing?" "Well, I was really interested in it and I turned out to be a natural. Why did you not become a famous artist?" Sangyeon's smile disappeared and old memories started to resurface. "I'm sorry, it must be a touchy-" "It's fine. I just...had myself permanently banned in the art world." "Eh? How?" "They considered it threatening and indecent. In my opinion, they just couldn't handle the fact that it accurately represented them as a whole." "What was it?" "It was like a war scene, except people were fighting over money and killing those who don't fit the mold." "That's deep..."

Changmin noticed a cat up above then proceeded to wave at it. Just as he looked away, he saw a car heading in the direction of the cat. He figured the cat would be okay as it'd probably be across in time. After a bit he heard mewing and looked back up. The cat had stopped moving. "Hold on a second." Changmin jogged up towards the cat and saw it had its paw stuck. He figured it'd be simple then lifted up its leg, only to hear a pained meow come from the cat. He decided to search for something to help lessen the pain then remembered there was a car heading this way.  _"Hopefully they'll see the cat..."_

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Sangyeon retold them what he saw. He didn't understand why they kept rechecking with him. He wanted to see Changmin. "Are we done?" "Ye-" Sangyeon had hurried out of the room then called Youngjae. "I expected you to call." He memorized the address and quickly made his way over. "Excuse me." Sangyeon stopped as a woman had stepped in his path. She handed him the cat then sent him on his way. He decided to figure it out later and called Chanhee.

"Thanks Chan..." "No problem. Go in." Sangyeon briefly looked at the cat then went in.

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Changmin stared long and hard at his leg. He slightly moved it then felt searing pain. He wondered what would become of it. Did he regret helping the cat? Possibly, but all life was precious in his eyes. "Evening, Mr. Ji." "Evening." He quietly listened as she rattled things off. "And I'll just cut to the chase with this. You won't be able to use your leg the way you used to. So, no standing for long periods of time, you can't kick with it, no complicated dance moves-" He felt everything crumble around him. Was it really that serious? So serious that he couldn't do the one thing he loved? "So, this is a drastic life change that I hope you're ready for." "Yeah..." He knew he didn't mean that.

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Sangyeon hadn't seen Changmin for almost a month and wondered if he was doing okay. Youngjae told him he didn't want visitors and sadly pushed him away. He missed Changmin. He decided to head over anyway after he finished his shift at his new job.

He wondered what he would possibly say to Changmin. He had planned to tell Changmin on that day about his feelings then, that he's completely certain of now. He liked Changmin. Sangyeon could only hope he felt the same way. He arrived at Changmin's apartment and rang the doorbell. He pressed his ear to the door and heard shuffling coming from inside. The sound of something breaking filled his ears along with frustrated grunts. "Changmin! Open up!" He hoped Changmin would come to his senses after hearing his voice and come open the door. Nothing could be heard and he wondered if he had moved to another room. He sat down on the floor and waited. It was all he could do.

Changmin had searched through all of Younghae's belongings and found what he was looking for. He stared long and hard then out the door. He had heard Sangyeon call for him, but the last thing he wanted was for Sangyeon to see him like this. He dragged himself out of Youngjae's room and headed towards the front door. He leaned his head against it then sadly called out to Sangyeon. "Chang? What's going on? Let me in...please..." "I can't..." He gripped the bottle tightly and felt tears streaming down his face. "Why?" "You'll interfere with my plan..." "What plan? Changmin!" He slid down the wall in tears and in pain. Dance was everything he had and the one thing that connected him and Sangyeon.

Sangyeon never felt so helpless. It bothered him even more that they didn't have a spare hidden anywhere. "Changmin, don't do this...How do you think I'll feel!?" He was in hysterics at this point. He didn't care if people passing by were staring. His only concern was trying to save that man behind the door. "Changmin...can you hear me?" No response. "Please, Chang..." He tried the door again and saw that it was now unlocked. He entered then looked around for Changmin. "Changmin..." He searched through rooms, knowing one of them held Changmin inside.

He opened another door and saw it was a bedroom. "What is that..." He slowly walked over then fell back in horror and shock. There was blood all around him and pills scattered about. He didn't know whether he should scream, cry or a combination of both. He slowly crawled over to Changmin then poked him and quickly drew his hand back. "Changmin..." Sangyeon was now shaking and in tears. He cradled Changmin in his arms as hot tears streamed down his face. His hands and clothes were coated in Changmin's blood, but he didn't care. He just wanted to know why. Why didn't Changmin want to live anymore. Weren't they each other's #1? Was it all a lie? He felt someone prying Changmin from his arms and eventually let go as they took him away.


End file.
